Self Esteem (4th grade girls)

**For my 4th grade parents

Today I had a wonderful sit down with your daughters. We talked about self esteem and body image. Please feel open to have a conversation with them about what they learned. I have included a little homework assignment for you all as well (just so you don’t feel out of the loop).

Action checklist: Don’t let your daughter’s self-esteem or body image be dented by negative messages.

1. Teach Radical Acceptance: We are all imperfect. Teach your daughter how to embrace her imperfections and radically accept that they exist. Radical acceptance involves accepting the things we cannot change, while working to change the things we can. It is often hard to know the difference, and as we learn them, we let go of suffering and misery and embrace our positives. The flaw is in the perfection. Her differences make her unique and interesting. Play those up in ways that make her feel good about herself.

2. Focus on the positive: It’s easy to get wrapped up in the negatives. Focus on the positive things that your daughter is doing. Avoid addressing the elements that can be improved upon, rather encourage the things that are going well. You won’t be able to avoid correcting her, but she is likely to internalize the positive, validating things you say much more than she will the negatives.

3. Love what YOU see in the mirror: As her parent, you may have the most influence over your daughter and her body image (even more than the average 10 hours and 45 minutes of media she consumes every day). If you try to love what you see in the mirror, she may learn more about self-acceptance, and avoid teenage body image issues. Model for her how she should start to view herself. If she sees you doing it, she is likely to embrace it more herself.

4. Don’t get caught in the appearance trap: So often, our first inclination with girls is to focus on their appearance. This is something that happens at all ages. Our initial reaction to a friend is, “You look terrific!” Girls are likely to internalize this as one of the most important elements of themselves and, when they can’t be ‘perfect’, they may feel bad, which can increase the risk of depression. Focus on her accomplishments, her abilities and her efforts. Although it is natural for appearance to be important to her, show her that these others things also hold much importance. It can build her self-esteem and promote a positive emotional well-being.